Lydia Home: Almost to the End

One of my last times at Lydia Home was for a Friday night cookout. This is another program, aside from the homework club, that the Lydia Home is known for. On this particular Friday, they were serving salad, spaghetti, cheesy garlic bread, and gooey brownies. Upon arriving at 5:30, I helped serve dinner to the various families that came in for the meal. After the families had helped themselves to seconds and even thirds, I helped Joyce clean up and package the leftovers for people to take home. While cleaning up, Joyce told me more of what a normal day at the Lydia Home looks like for her. She told me a few stories behind the kids and families that come through the Home. After cleaning up, I was able to talk to some of the families. I even played Taboo with some of the parents.

Through the course of the night, there were many concepts associated with interpersonal communication that manifested themselves through my various interactions. One such concept was disclosure, which is when a person reveals something honest about themselves that is generally unavailable from other sources. It could be telling a secret to your best friend that you haven't told anyone else. It could also be telling a coworker about an experience you had. There are so many different things that could be classified as disclosure. If Joyce had not disclosed information about a normal day for her at the Lydia Home, I would not know the depth of all she does there. From knowing this information, I have a great appreciation for all she does. I also have a lot of respect for her and I find it truly amazing what she does with those kids and families.

Another concept that presented itself during the night was the use of language. If you have ever played Taboo, you know that trying to describe the word at the top of the card without using the words below it is very difficult. It becomes even more difficult if you don't have a wide vocabulary. This was very evident while playing Taboo with a few of the parents that night. You could tell that they struggled occasionally to find the write words to describe it. While people don't normally play Taboo on a daily basis, vocabulary and language still play a large role in effective communication. It's important to have a large vocabulary in order to effectively communicate your thoughts and feelings. Without it, many misinterpretations and misunderstandings can occur. And, those misunderstandings can sometimes have large repercussions in your interpersonal relationships, sometimes causing deterioration of that relationship.

After learning about disclosure and language through these interactions, I hope to make some changes that will help in future interactions. I am going to try to be more willing to disclose information about myself, especially with people that truly care about me. I see now, thanks to Joyce, how important disclosure can be and how it can impact a relationship. This impact, in the case with Joyce, was definitely positive. Also, I am going to try to broaden my vocabulary to be a more effective communicator. There are several ways I could make this change. I could sign up for one of those Word-Of-The-Day services. I could also read more books, especially if they were at a more challenging reading level than I am used to. I hope through all of the interactions I have had at the Lydia Home that I will grow to be a more competent communicator by learning from these experiences.

Lydia Home: Continuing on the Journey

My second week at Lydia Home was much like the first week. Again, I helped the kids with their homework after they had a snack. After the kids finished their homework, they were able to play until it was time to go home. On Thursday, there was something that really stood out to me. I was helping a little boy with his homework and I took him into a separate room away from the whole group. Robert and the boy he was helping were also in this room. The boy I was working with kept getting distracted with the other boy's homework, even though he was supposed to be doing his own. I would try to guide him back to his homework by trying to be patient with him and not have an aggressive tone of voice. Unfortunately, this approach wasn't quite working, but thankfully Robert was able to get him back on track by having a firm tone of voice.

This situation illustrates how power used in language is important for getting points across and how powerless speech mannerisms can cause ineffective communication. By not putting power in my communication and not being firm with the child, I was not able to keep him on task. For example, think of someone that you view as an authoritative figure. Does he or she try to be polite by being hesitant and beating around the bush? Or does he or she confidently state the message that he or she is trying to get across? You would most likely say that he or she does the latter because we see that as more confident and powerful.

In my future interactions with the kids at the Lydia Home (and kids in general), I hope to not use powerless speech mannerisms as much. Along with that, it would be helpful to have a firm tone of voice and, through my communication, come across as more confident and authoritative. These skills will also help immensely when giving presentations or during a job interview.